Tuesday 1 April 2014

Ahoy! Namaste! Welcome to my blog!

"A child gives birth to a mother". - Anonymous.

Growing up, I was a good child. My mother says that I never cried except when hungry. I was a friendly, smiling toddler, terribly talkative. As I grew up, I became fussy, stubborn and the quintessential ‘why-why’ girl who made her mom go bonkers with her questions. I was a little too carefree for my mother’s comfort, a fact that my father and brothers were OK with, but my mother worried…  a lot.

Now, before you get the impression that I was written off and completely went to ruin, that is not what I am trying to say here. (Neither was that the case, either!) What I am implying is, mothers worry. Mothers love too much. It’s tough for a mother to judge limits for what is acceptable or safe for her child. When I started working and used to work late nights, I was used to her sitting up late, waiting - once, even at the main gate at 2 AM. It amazes me that she would probably do that again today... even though I'm the mother of a 4 year old. Moms are really crazy.

I’m happily married today, settled with my husband and my pre-schooler in London. Since the shift has been recent, I have not taken up a job and hence I'm a full time mommy. And surprisingly, I'm not really dying to get back to work anytime soon. Leaving work was a voluntary decision, having worked throughout, straight after college. I was a banker and I loved it. It's thrilling to meet new people every day, learning about new businesses, making case files and explaining and arguing about why they need finance and services for their business and why I am the best person to do that for them. So not having a job was not really an option for me. Not even when I had my baby.

But one fine day my daughter, who I shall call A on this blog, turned 2. She walked, ran, played, sang, loved books, talked nineteen to the dozen. She was just as my mom said I was as a child. A friendly, smiling toddler who would cry only when hungry, sometimes. Terribly talkative. She was the twinkle of her grandparents’ eyes, the darling among neighbours, our pride among friends. And I was at work, still busy making case files - this time, lousy ones. Because something did not feel right. And it bothered me a great lot. But luckily, the solution was obvious. So, at the earliest possible opportunity, I quit my job with no plans – no futuristic thought whatsoever. All I thought of, and all that mattered then was, I did not want to regret later not being a part of my baby’s precious growing up years.

I don’t regret the decision at all. Not yet, anyway! Maybe I could have risen ahead in my career. Maybe I could have managed work and home well. But it doesn’t really cross my mind. All this time with my baby has been amazing – and fulfilling for me. I find myself pursuing interests that I never knew existed in me. We engage in activities I never thought I would be inclined to do. I sure have my bad days; days that make me feel I'm so terrible at this - at being a parent. But they pass, and smiles and giggles take over again.

Kids observe a darn lot; they are fascinated by things that are so regular and mundane to us. And there lies the inspiration to teach and in return, learn so much. Coloured and glittery paper, seeing dark clouds in a sky that was bright and blue just then, a full blossom where there was but a bud yesterday, gluing and sticking, running and cycling, eating and cooking, reading and imagining.

Sometimes I sit back and wonder - how did I get around to love doing this so much? I was a dud at this! And then Amma’s words come back to you – ‘When you become a mommy yourself, you will know.’ I don’t think I know it yet (or will ever), but I get the idea.

This blog is intended to record and bear testimony to the different ideas and activities (present and prospective) that this mommy and baby duo have nurtured and created over time. They are not all original though. In this, I am hugely inspired by a multitude of ideas that I have taken notice of on the internet, put up by brilliantly creative parents. I have tried to create the same, or in places, put my own ideas or my little girl’s. Some are ambitious, some are neat and some are downright silly! Some, we have just created between ourselves - between eating breakfast, playing football, singing songs, colouring giraffes and cuddle time.

‘A child gives birth to a mother’. – Anonymous.
It’s true, really. 

3 comments:

  1. Superb write up Rama.. Eagerly waiting for today's post.. U make these little things so fascinating!!

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  2. You giving due credit to the fact that being there with the little one as companion in the growing years is so honest. Indeed the journey is so beautiful. Looking at life with whole new dimension is so very thrilling. Thanks to our little ones for giving that dimension. Loved your honest post. Awaiting for more.

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